Today’s post was written by a current college student. She is an amazing young lady, wise beyond her years. As I read her post about social media offering the option to hide “likes”, I was so impressed! This is BIG news — this is a relevant topic to almost everyone who has some type of social media. Though many think this would mostly apply to a younger generation, I would beg to differ. All of us have the tendency to compare. Perhaps Teddy Roosevelt said it best:
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
There are 2 types of social comparison happening in these situations. Upward Social Comparison and Downward Social Comparison.
Hikers on the Appalachian Trail have the motto “hike your own hike” — that is, resist the urge to compare how many miles you cover in a day to how far other hikers are traveling. While this sounds good in theory, it is very hard to do when dancing around the minefields of social media.
For example, say you decide to be super productive for the day. You set a reasonable goal on your Apple watch of how many steps are needed that day. You make a list of all you need to accomplish. Who knows, you may be an over achiever and even build a vision board and start working toward accomplishing greater goals. You spend your day killin’ it on every level. You wake up early, stay focused and finish the day strong….then…..you open your phone.
There it is.
Someone who took more steps, someone who did more, someone who made better grades or wore the perfect outfit. To top it off, everyone loves this person, and you see that their latest post is perfectly color-coded and pens a caption with the most intricate string of hashtags. Their “likes” far exceed anything yours have ever gotten close to. All the influencers are simply unrealistic.
If you don’t hear anything else from this article, hear this:
“When you compare, you compare your insides to their outsides”
Do you know why this is so dangerous? Because you’ll get the short straw every single time. You are comparing your reality to their perceived reality. Your reality doesn’t stand a chance against an inflated perception of others.
Let’s face it, no one gets on social media to tell others how awful they are. No one wants to hear about their crappy day or how they were unkind to others. (Though we all have days like this.) Often your worst is up against their inflated best. The real truth is that each of us has gifts and talents that deserve to be “liked.” We are each created with different gifts and talents we have that can change the world. I love how the old African proverb says it:
“The hen cannot lay eggs of crocodiles and crocodiles cannot lay eggs of hens”
Comparison is so dangerous because you are not created to be like the others. You are unique and march to your own beat. You don’t believe me? Maybe you don’t see your incredible value just yet, but another African Proverb again nails this concept:
“If you think you’re too small to make a difference you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito.”
Maybe all you can see right now are the “likes” of others and the “lack of likes” for you. Just because someone doesn’t like a post doesn’t mean they don’t like you. It means they didn’t see it, it means they are jealous of you, or it means they are too insecure to applaud the accomplishments of another.
Whether you choose to keep your “likes” or get rid of your “likes,” the most important thing is to realize that a “virtual like” pales in comparison to a real like. Be the kind of person who gets “real likes.” Be the person who makes a difference in the lives around you. Be the one to help others, offer help when you can and make the world a brighter place.
And now I’d “like” for you to hear from one of my amazing students. Let us know what you think. Let us know how you will be using your social media in the future. Will you be making changes?
Have you heard the news? This week on Good Morning America the head of Instagram and Facebook, Adam Mosseri, announced they have decided to give us the option on our own accounts to turn off likes on these apps. This can happen in two different ways. As you scroll through your feed, you can set the option to hide other users’ likes. Or, on your own post, you can hide the likes from others. You can turn it off or on any time you want. This really takes the pressure off the app users when posting and even scrolling.
For the younger generation users, myself included, Instagram can be overwhelming. We have to get a certain amount of likes on our post or the picture wasn’t “cool” enough. Sometimes we even delete a post if the response to it doesn’t meet the standards that we have set for ourselves.
Having this option to hide the likes can really have a positive effect for users. Mental health issues are becoming more apparent and the numbers of individuals struggling are rising. We can hide behind a screen and tear ourselves apart when comparing ourselves to others. Younger kids are starting to get social media accounts and phones earlier than in the past while they are still developing into who they are supposed to be, and they are beginning to compare themselves to what they see online.
According to a RSPH survey, Instagram was voted the most harmful social media platform to young users’ mental health. Kids are experiencing anxiety, increased negative self image, and feel left out seeing other people post pictures together. Instagram has added a lot of pressure on our society to post the “right” pictures, have the perfect clothes, and go on cool trips. It is simply unrealistic to achieve these things.
I think it is important that Instagram has done this as it shows that the app wasn’t created to make it a competition about what others have. With likes being hidden from the feed, some of these comparisons can be eliminated. The kids won’t have to look and see all the likes their peers are getting or see how few likes they may be getting. They won’t have to worry about other people seeing their likes either. Allowing us this option to control hiding or showing our likes is important, too. We still have control over our accounts and what we can or cannot see. But knowing that this option can eliminate some pressure, many Instagram and Facebook users will find it has a beneficial and more positive impact on our mental health.
Kylee Downs