One of the most common questions I get is: How involved should I be in my child’s college admissions process?
I’ve worked with students on three continents for over two decades. I’ve worked with every kind of student imaginable; the self starter, the procrastinator and everyone in between. My answer to this question remains the same:
Up until this point, you’ve been the leader, providing guidance and support while they have been the follower. It’s time for a role reversal now. They lead, you follow their lead while continuing to offer your guidance and support.
You can comment on the recipe but they are the ones baking this cake.
They are in the game, you are on the sidelines this time, cheering as loud as you can.
They are center stage as the lead in this play, you are now a supporting actor.
As a parent, I bristled at the thought of being in a supportive role during such a critical time in my child’s life. After launching hundreds of students through this process and 4 of my own children, I know for sure that the student’s who are best prepared for college are the ones who take leadership of this process themselves. In fact, this is the perfect transition time for the roles to reverse and the student to learn to be responsible for their future. When done properly, it produces amazing results for the student future success and the relationship between parent and child.
They lead, you follow.
As a parent, I know how hard this can be. It’s much like allowing them the freedom to reap the benefits of their choices or pay the consequences of their choices. Let me give you an example from my personal life.
One of my daughters was “conditionally” accepted at one of her top schools. This meant she would arrive on campus 6 weeks early and attend summer school. If she passed her summer school classes, she would have full admittance in the fall. If she failed summer school, she would return home in the fall. I knew how hard summer school would be. It’s like drinking out of a fire hydrant. A lot of material is presented very quickly and the tests would be difficult. As she began summer school, she found lots of “social” activities to get involved in. While this is great, she made a 58 on her first geography test. I knew this would be hard to recover from. My initial instinct was to help her study. Make flash cards and play a lead role in her study habits for the next few weeks. I stopped myself. Upon further reflection, I realized that if she wan’t capable of putting in the effort and study time to pass her summer courses that she wasn’t ready to be a full time student in the fall and that she would have to suffer those consequences. It was hard to watch. It was hard to not be assertive in helping but she figured it out, passed her courses and gained a new found confidence in her ability to thrive academically in college. I once again learned the valuable lesson; They lead, I follow.
While all of this is true, I do encourage parents to support and help when and where they can. At Imagine Scholarships, we understand parents. In fact, we have a scholarship just for parents, videos for parents and offer a way for parents to help search for potential scholarships for their student. By searching for and saving scholarships, you save valuable time for your student to apply to scholarships you’ve saved for them.
We wish you the best as you go through each critical step of the college admissions process. If done properly, it can be a bonding and rewarding experience for you and your child. If you’d like help in the process, reach out to us today. We love helping students and supporting parents.
To learn more, follow our blog and to find money for college as well as hundreds of videos on navigating the college admissions process, join Imagine Scholarships. You’ll be glad you did.
Sherri and Team Imagine