My fifth and youngest child is 18-years-old and heading to school – here’s what I’ve learned over the years
Guest post by Wendy Dewerse
ALL of the Emotions You Feel are Normal and Okay
As parents we may feel like we’re on a roller coaster of conflicting emotions about launching our “babies” out into the big bad world. We’re PROUD of the capable young adult our child has grown into. We’re a little CONCERNED about his safety on a college campus. We’re EXCITED for all she will experience and accomplish. We’re SAD simply because we’re going to miss this person whose company we’ve enjoyed every day for the past 18 years. OR maybe we’re RELIEVED that our nest is finally empty, and we’re ready for the next stage of our lives!
Any and all of these emotions (and many more) will come and go during this season – some popping up when we least expect it! My advice is don’t try to fight them. Sit with them. Let yourself feel the sadness or the fear or the dread of financial hardship due to college expenses. Talking with friends in the same stage of life has helped me immensely. We’re all experiencing many of the same feelings which are normal and healthy and to be expected.
Be sure to congratulate yourself on a job well done! Getting your son or daughter to this point (whether they choose to attend college or not) was the assignment, and you did it! Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart, and our victories deserve to be celebrated!
Your Kid’s Got This
I’ll say it again, dear reader, you did your job well! Your young adult completed all requirements to graduate from high school AND get into college (or trade school or whatever track they’ve chosen)! He is going to be okay. She can do this. Your time to, for lack of a better word, “micromanage” the details of their lives has come to an end. Trust that they are responsible and capable and competent enough to handle the challenges that will inevitably come their way as they acclimate to the college environment. If they make a mistake or drop the ball, it will be the first and possibly most important lesson they learn on their higher education journey. Let’s face it, learning things “the hard way” is the only way that really sticks (as we experienced when we were 18-years-old)!
Take a step back. They will step up. Your demonstrated trust in their capability will boost their confidence in themselves. As cliché as it sounds, it’s time for them to spread their wings and fly! If they falter, don’t rush in to fix it. It’s all learning; it’s all growing; it’s all exactly what needs to happen.
Help to Pay for College is Out There
Paying for college is no joke. Even if you’ve been saving for your kids’ education for years, costs keep skyrocketing, and it feels impossible to get through four years of college without mountains of debt. Among my own kids, some have taken out loans, some have worked and paid for school on their own, some have dropped out of college or have never gone to college in the first place. Everyone needs to follow his or her own path, but if your young adult is college bound, here is a great hack to access a plethora of resources out there available to college students and their parents.
Imagine Scholarships
Imagine Scholarships is a new or aspiring college student’s best friend. On this site you will find MANY high-value resources for FREE, such as High School Timelines, Expert Tips from scholarship committee members, Best Kept Secrets to successful college visits, a College Budgeting Guide, a guide to filling out the FAFSA, a guide to writing the perfect College Essay, just to name a few!
Here are a couple of extremely helpful webinars found at Imagine for FREE: College 101 and SAT/ACT test-taking strategies and advice.
More high value services are available at Imagine College Coaching and Imagine Scholarships for a small monthly subscription ($175/year). With this subscription comes access to a searchable database of approximately $9 BILLION in SCHOLARSHIPS available to your student, whether she is just now entering college or a current college student. Another database containing available INTERNSHIPS – both in-person and virtual – is fully available to subscribers. Additionally, a vast library of video resources that will walk you through every step of the college admissions / scholarship application process is also included.
My family has benefited from Imagine College Coaching and Scholarships, and I know yours will too. Enjoy these last few weeks with your high school graduate at home and just ride all of the highs and lows you’ll be experiencing during this bittersweet time of transition for everyone in the family. As quoted by Brené Brown in her book Atlas of the Heart:
“The bittersweet side of appreciating life’s most precious moments is the unbearable awareness that those moments are passing.” – Marc Parent