But What If My Family Is Complicated?

The FAFSA questions parents are often afraid to ask

If every family looked exactly the same, FAFSA would be a whole lot easier.

Mom and Dad are married.

They file taxes jointly.

Everyone lives in the same house.

Nobody has remarried.

Nobody has lost a job.

Nobody owns anything unusual.

And everyone remembers their passwords.

Lovely.

But after years of working with students and parents, I can tell you:

Families are complicated.

Parents are divorced.

Parents are separated.

Parents remarry.

A parent dies.

Grandparents raise grandchildren.

Students split their time between two homes.

One parent pays most of the bills while the student lives primarily with the other.

A family’s income changes dramatically from one year to the next.

Sometimes a parent simply refuses to participate.

And that’s usually when someone calls and says:

“Okay…but what do WE put on the FAFSA?”

So let’s talk about the questions that aren’t always quite so simple.

First: Please Fill Out the FAFSA

Let’s get this one out of the way.

I sometimes hear parents say:

“We make too much money. There’s no point.”

Please don’t make that decision for yourself.

The FAFSA isn’t only about whether your student qualifies for a Pell Grant.

Federal student aid can include grants, work-study and federal student loans, and colleges, states and some other aid programs also use FAFSA information when determining eligibility for aid.

You don’t know what your student may qualify for until you apply.

And FAFSA stands for:

Free Application for Federal Student Aid.

Free is my favorite price.

What Exactly Is a “Contributor”?

This word confuses a lot of families.

A contributor is someone who is required to provide information on a student’s FAFSA.

Depending on the student’s situation, that might include:

The student.

A biological or adoptive parent.

A parent’s spouse.

Or, for an independent married student, the student’s spouse.

Being listed as a contributor does not mean that person is promising to pay for college.

It doesn’t make the parent responsible for the student’s tuition.

It simply means FAFSA requires information from that person to determine the student’s eligibility for federal aid.

Each required contributor needs their own StudentAid.gov account and completes their own portion of the FAFSA.

“We’re Married. Whose Information Do We Use?”

Usually, both parents’ information is part of the picture when the student’s legal parents are married and not separated.

If the parents filed their federal taxes jointly, only one parent may need to act as the FAFSA contributor, although information about the spouse is still included.

If the parents did not file jointly, the spouse may need to participate separately as a contributor.

The FAFSA will guide you through this based on your marital and tax-filing status.

“We’re Divorced. Which Parent Fills It Out?”

This is one of the biggest FAFSA questions—and one where parents sometimes remember an old rule.

Here is the answer directly from FAFSA. 

Under the current FAFSA rules, if divorced or separated parents don’t live together, you generally report information for the parent who provided the greater portion of the student’s financial support during the previous 12 months.

Notice what I did not say.

It isn’t automatically:

The parent the student lives with most.

The parent who claims the student on their tax return.

Mom.

Dad.

The parent who pays tuition.

It’s based on financial support.

If both parents provided exactly equal financial support—or neither financially supported the student—FAFSA generally uses the parent with the greater income and assets.

This is one of those areas where I would absolutely use the federal Who’s My FAFSA Parent? tool if there’s any question.

Five minutes spent checking can save a lot of confusion.

“My Ex Makes More Money Than I Do. Does That Mean We Use Their Information?”

Not necessarily.

Income alone doesn’t determine which divorced or separated parent is reported.

The first question is generally:

Which parent provided the greater portion of the student’s financial support during the previous 12 months?

If that’s you, your information may be the information FAFSA requires even if the other parent earns more.

If support was exactly equal—or neither parent provided financial support—then income and assets become the tiebreaker.

“My Child Lives With Me. Doesn’t That Automatically Make Me the FAFSA Parent?”

No.

This surprises many parents.

For divorced or separated parents who don’t live together, the current FAFSA rules focus primarily on financial support, not simply where the student slept the most nights.

That’s particularly important for families who share custody.

Don’t assume.

Check.

“I’m Divorced and Remarried. Do I Have to Include My New Spouse?”

If you’re the parent whose information is required on FAFSA and you’re remarried when you complete the form, your spouse’s information generally becomes part of the FAFSA calculation as well.

Yes, even though the stepparent isn’t the student’s biological parent.

And yes, even if the stepparent says:

“I’m not paying for their college.”

Remember:

FAFSA isn’t asking who has volunteered to pay.

It’s determining financial-aid eligibility using federal rules.

“I’m Divorced and My Ex Remarried. Does Their New Spouse Count?”

If your ex is the parent whose information FAFSA requires, then their current spouse’s information generally must be included as well.

If you are the required parent and you haven’t remarried, then your ex’s spouse generally isn’t part of your FAFSA household information.

This is why determining the correct FAFSA parent comes first.

“I’m a Single Parent and I’ve Never Been Married.”

If you’re the student’s legal parent, you’ve never married the student’s other legal parent, and you don’t live together, generally you’ll report your information if you’re the parent FAFSA identifies as the required parent.

If both legal parents are unmarried but live together, FAFSA generally requires information about both legal parents.

Again, FAFSA family definitions don’t always work exactly the way tax definitions do.

“I’m Widowed. Whose Information Do I Use?”

If you’re a widowed parent and you have not remarried, generally you’ll provide your own information.

Your deceased spouse is not a FAFSA contributor.

If you’ve remarried, however, your current spouse’s information generally becomes part of the FAFSA.

One important reminder:

FAFSA asks for your marital status as of the day you’re completing the form.

Life may look very different today than it did during the tax year being used on FAFSA.

That matters.

“My Child Lives With Their Grandparents. Do We Put the Grandparents on FAFSA?”

Usually, no.

For FAFSA purposes, grandparents are not considered parents unless they have legally adopted the student.

The same generally applies to:

Aunts.

Uncles.

Older siblings.

Foster parents.

Legal guardians.

Other relatives.

This can be confusing because the person doing the actual parenting may not be considered the FAFSA “parent.”

If a student is in a legal guardianship, foster-care situation, orphaned or has other unusual circumstances, different dependency rules may apply.

Those families should pay especially close attention to the dependency questions on FAFSA and talk with the college financial-aid office when needed.

“My Child Is 18. Aren’t They Independent Now?”

Not necessarily.

This is another very common misconception.

Being 18 doesn’t automatically make a student independent for federal student-aid purposes.

Neither does:

Living away from home.

Paying their own bills.

Having a job.

Filing their own tax return.

Or not being claimed as a dependent on a parent’s taxes.

FAFSA dependency status is determined by federal student-aid rules, which are different from IRS dependency rules.

A student answers a series of questions on the FAFSA that determine whether they’re considered dependent or independent.

“What If a Parent Refuses to Give Their Information?”

This is a difficult one.

A parent refusing to provide FAFSA information does not automatically make the student independent.

A dependent student whose parent simply refuses to participate may be able to submit the FAFSA and potentially be considered for a Direct Unsubsidized Loan only, but generally won’t be eligible for a Pell Grant or most other federal student aid through that route.

That’s very different from a student who cannot safely contact a parent because of unusual circumstances.

Which brings us to an important distinction.

“What If Contacting a Parent Isn’t Safe or Possible?”

There are situations involving things such as:

Abuse.

Abandonment.

Estrangement.

Human trafficking.

Incarceration where contact would pose a risk.

A parent who cannot be located.

Other serious circumstances preventing the student from safely contacting a parent.

Those are not the same thing as:

“My dad doesn’t want to fill it out.”

Students experiencing unusual circumstances may be able to submit FAFSA without parent information and work with the college’s financial-aid office regarding their dependency status.

If this is your student’s situation, please don’t assume there’s no way forward.

Talk to the financial-aid office.

“FAFSA Is Using an Old Tax Year, but Our Financial Situation Has Completely Changed.”

This is a big one.

Maybe a parent:

Lost a job.

Had their hours significantly reduced.

Retired.

Went through a divorce.

Lost a spouse.

Experienced substantial medical expenses.

Had another significant change in financial circumstances.

And you’re staring at FAFSA thinking:

That income number doesn’t look anything like our life now.

Complete the FAFSA using the information it requests.

Then contact the financial-aid office at the colleges your student is considering.

Colleges can review certain special financial circumstances and may, when appropriate, make an adjustment using what’s called professional judgment.

You may need to provide documentation.

Don’t simply change FAFSA numbers because you believe the tax-year information is outdated.

Submit the required information and then explain the changed circumstances to the college.

“We Have More Than One Child in College. Does That Help?”

Families who remember FAFSA from a few years ago need to pay particular attention here.

Having multiple children in college is still reported on the FAFSA, but under the current federal aid formula it does not automatically reduce the Student Aid Index the way the old Expected Family Contribution formula once did.

That change surprised a lot of families.

However, colleges have their own institutional-aid policies, so having multiple students in college may still matter in other aid calculations.

And each student needs their own FAFSA.

You don’t complete one family FAFSA and put all the kids on it.

If you have twins heading to college, congratulations.

You get two FAFSAs.

And possibly a strong cup of coffee.

“Do We Report Our House?”

Generally, the value of the home you live in—your primary residence—is not reported as an investment on the FAFSA.

Other real estate can be different.

Rental property, for example, may be considered an investment.

This is also an important place to remember that some colleges ask for additional financial information for their own institutional aid.

FAFSA rules and a particular college’s institutional-aid rules aren’t always identical.

“What About Our Retirement Accounts?”

Qualified retirement plans generally aren’t reported as FAFSA investments.

That includes certain retirement accounts such as 401(k)s and IRAs.

That doesn’t mean every financial asset is excluded.

Cash, checking and savings accounts and many non-retirement investments can be reportable.

Read each FAFSA question carefully rather than assuming everything you own belongs in the same bucket.

“What About a 529?”

This is another area where families get confused.

A 529 college-savings plan can be a reportable asset depending on ownership and the student’s situation.

Current FAFSA rules have also changed how some education savings accounts and distributions are treated compared with older versions of FAFSA.

This is one of those questions where I wouldn’t rely on something you remember reading five years ago.

Use the current FAFSA instructions for the year you’re filing.

“Do Small Businesses Count?”

This is another rule that has changed in recent years.

Current FAFSA rules can require families to report the net worth of businesses and income-producing farms.

If you own a business, don’t automatically rely on what an older sibling’s FAFSA asked several years ago.

Use the instructions for the FAFSA year you’re actually completing.

“Does Filling Out FAFSA Mean We’re Agreeing to Take Student Loans?”

No.

Completing FAFSA is an application for financial aid.

It is not an agreement to borrow money.

Your student may eventually receive an aid offer containing some combination of:

Grants.

Scholarships.

Work-study.

Loans.

Those are not all the same thing.

You can review an offer and decide what to accept or decline.

FAFSA opens the door.

It doesn’t require you to walk through every part of it.

“We Probably Won’t Qualify for Anything. Should We Still Do It?”

In most cases, I would.

Families are sometimes surprised by what they’re offered.

And remember, federal aid isn’t the only reason FAFSA can matter.

States, colleges and some scholarship programs may use FAFSA information when determining aid.

I’d much rather have a family complete the form and discover they don’t qualify for something than skip it and later discover they missed an opportunity.

The FAFSA Questions I Would Never Guess On

There are a few situations where I’d stop searching random websites and go directly to the source:

Which divorced parent should be reported?

Does a stepparent need to contribute?

Is my student dependent or independent?

Does our family situation qualify as an unusual circumstance?

How should a particular asset be reported?

What do we do after a major change in income?

Federal Student Aid has a particularly helpful tool called:

Who’s My FAFSA Parent?

Use it.

And when a situation is truly unusual, call the college financial-aid office.

Financial-aid officers deal with complicated families every day.

Your family will not be the strangest phone call they’ve received this week.

I promise.

One More Thing: Don’t Wait Until the Deadline

FAFSA is much more pleasant when you’re not completing it at 11:43 p.m. on the night of a deadline.

Before you begin, figure out:

Who the required contributors are.

Who needs a StudentAid.gov account.

Which tax information will be used.

What assets you’ll need to report.

Which colleges should receive the FAFSA.

And whether there are state or college priority deadlines you need to meet.

Students should ideally start their own FAFSA and complete their sections first, then invite the required parent contributor.

A little preparation can make the process dramatically easier.

Imagine Scholarships + Red Kite Can Help With What Comes Next

FAFSA is important.

But FAFSA is only one piece of paying for college.

Once it’s submitted, families still need to answer:

What will this college actually cost us?

What grants and scholarships has the college offered?

How much is gift aid versus borrowed money?

What scholarships can my student still pursue?

How much can our family reasonably contribute?

How big is the remaining gap?

That’s where I want families to use the resources available through Imagine Scholarships and Red Kite.

Imagine can help families understand the college-planning and financial-aid process.

Red Kite can help students continue searching for scholarship opportunities that may help close the gap.

Think of FAFSA as one door to college money.

It’s not the only door.

The Most Important Thing to Remember

FAFSA is a form.

Your family is a family.

And families don’t always fit neatly into little boxes.

Divorce doesn’t make your student ineligible for aid.

Being raised by a grandparent doesn’t mean there’s no path forward.

Losing a spouse doesn’t mean you’re expected to pretend nothing changed.

A job loss doesn’t necessarily mean the college can’t reconsider your circumstances.

And having a complicated family doesn’t mean you’ve somehow filled out FAFSA “wrong” before you’ve even begun.

It simply means you may need to slow down, read the questions carefully and occasionally ask for help.

When you’re unsure:

Don’t guess.

Check the current FAFSA instructions.

Use the federal parent-contributor tool.

And talk with the financial-aid office.

Because when tens of thousands of dollars in college costs may be involved, this is one form where getting the answer right is worth a few extra questions.

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